This year's kind of a quiet celebration for me. Nothing big anyway. These few days, work and mental stress back at home is taking a toll on me; stiff back and shoulder blade. Well, one thing for sure; Meelo is back at home with me. Finally! This time round, boogie old man did not have anything to do with me, something in which I am glad about. Because I don't wish to have yet another row with him and argue over things which are deem un necessary.

While Mum is getting cranky, I wish she could just stay out of things. At times, I wonder when she made a statement, had that sentence gone through her head before blurting out. I may seems ignorant and not breathing a word about the situation, but that doesn't mean that I do not know alot of things. More often then not, I guess she is living in self-denial, and for goodness sake, I did not change one bit. I guess it is your demand that is increasing and wanting more from me. Had you been very honest with me too? If I would to ask you this question, I guess your reply would be, there are certain in which you would not want to me to know so as to protect me, as you would claim it to be. So in another words, the truth hurts. Which truth does not? Then it goes back to the question, am I being treated as an adult in the first place. You need time to recover; so it give you the green light to be cold towards us. So in my reply, I also need time for all these to sink in, so I can also give you the f*cking cold shoulder too. I am sick and tired of all these at home. While you might want to protect us in your bubble, and thinking that this is the best way, have you really sit down and think, this is what you deem mortally right, but do we want this and need this. And is this right and applicable to this century context. If you deem this as a failure, then I do not know how to convince you and change your perspective I am sorry to say.

Knowledge is power. Therefore, I suggest that one to read widely. It not only expands your knowledge and vocabulary, it also allow one to see things differently. The book that I chasing after these days is "My best friend's girl". A nice and heartwarming book, depicting how one manage to overcome her hatred and hurt to accept someone else. A powerful and enriching book.

 

Sweets and Chocolate for my bitter heart. Couldn't explain my feelings; my heart feel so empty, so hollow inside. I am going to be a year older in one weeks time, but yet, I am not so looking forward to it.. I guess after 21, we secretly wish that time does not fly pass fast. Somehow, I can't find satisfiation anywhere. I don't feel like being at home and face the intense feeling back there..

Is it me or is it you? Just as when things seems brighter, there bound to be some other things to come along with it. That's why they say good things never last. Things are no longer the same at home; it can never be the same again. The feeling is so different, it makes me even more determine to move out. If I can't stay with you, I rather I move out, so the chances of us meeting and having so many conflicts are much reduced.

Tell me which idiot will let you control until the state that I am in.. Yes, no doubt I am always like a little girl to you (or whatever shit you may wish to call it), but I am a grown up with my own mindset and beliefs. I would gladly appreciate it if you can respect it even if you don't agree with it. What's with the "I-am-your-mother" attitude. You have punk, you have style, I have mine too. I don't think I would want to subject myself to your questioning and humilation.